life...

This may be a jumbled post...I just have a lot rolling around in my mind.

I have been with mom & wayne for 6 days now and life has changed a lot in just those few days.

When we arrived, Wayne (grampa) was sitting up in the recliner and watching some news. Autumn & Patrick took turns talking to him. Sure, Wayne would doze off for a time and then be with it again.... this happened a lot and that's ok.

The last couple days we have watched all that change. Wayne is now in bed nearly all of the day. He sleeps and sleeps... This sucks! I know no other words to say. It's hard to watch a man you love and who has taken care of you come to need so much caring for. The tables are now reversed and it's my job to make sure his needs are met while I am here.
Of course mom does this mostly but she is at work during the day right now and it falls to me.
I am scared and nervous and sad and happy I can do this all at the same time. I don't think my body knows what emotion to feel most of the time. :(

I also have a hard time watching mom go through this. This man is her life! My mom is a really strong person, she always has been. I want her to just go in and be with Wayne though and let down the strong part and just be emotional. She needs that time.

Life slips away so quickly and unexpectedly sometimes. Take time to be grateful every day. I have started listing atleast 3 things I am grateful for everyday. I make sure there are 3 new things, even if I need a repeat.
Learn to focus on today while you are in it. Don't waste energy thinking about tomorrow...you can't change it until it becomes today. You can't change the past either, you can only accept it and move on.

God says that He will never leave us or forsake us... I believe that. I believe He is here in this with us right now. There is a reason for everything.